Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The truth about HTC has been revealed!

HTC is underground factory, that manufacturing cat eater cyborgs (Cats? Why Cats? Don’t you know, what PDA is? It’s Pussy Defended Asset. Other words male mouser). Especially, those cyborgs eat cats is disguise of Mobile Phones.


Where HTC located?

HTC located on the moon. Not in China. The facility is in one of moon craters inside the old spacecraft, abandoned by HAL from a space odyssey. Once a year, this moonbus rides to the Earth with new cyborgs production on board.

HTC production

At glance, the production of HTC looks like a regular mobile phones, however it has no phone capabilities. Therefore, once it leaves moonbus it eats fist mobile phone found. Momentarily after, cyborg’s internal infrastructure adopts the consumed cat and starts to operate as long as life endures, producing the illusion, that the cyborg is regular mobile phone.

However, the main mission of HTC production is to eat cats. It do the offense nightly, when the owner sleeps. It comes out and every time, seeing a cat, exclaims: “Hey, That’s Cat!”, then swallows the victim. Once the cyborg loaded up, it return to the owner.

The other ability of HTC production is zombying of its owners. It washes their brains and commands them to think, that cyborgs are the best mobile phone ever. All other phones are missing of features and very user unfriendly. Because of it, most of mobile phone owners forgot how to use regular mobile phones.

Cyborg detection

In spite of good camouflage, it’s possible to detect cyborgs:

  • Occasional pressing of phone screen does nothing for regular mobile phones, however cyborgs very sensitive to this action
  • Upper cover of the cyborg consists of strange rectangle thing. It’s the antenna, used by the cyborg for zombying owners.
  • One of following words might appear in cyborg’s front or back panel: i-mate,t-mobile,eten,asus,htc,orange,AT&T
  • Sustained use of cyborgs causes headache or migraine.

The cyborgs are extremely dangerous for cat population of the Earth, thus every time, you detect the cyborg, please, report to WWF, Heath Officer or FBI.

Thank you for cooperation.

[illustration by DaKraken, inspired by absurdopedia]

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